The Funky Times of Marriage Part 2

Please excuse the lengthy intermission...life, pregnancy, winter sickness and travel have made for quite the time crunch lately.  Did I mention we found out we are having a BOY?!  All praise to God for a healthy baby boy on the way!!

Anyhow, speaking of winter sickness and the funky times of life...

Wes and I recently traveled to Colorado for a conference where we got sick, sick, sick.  On the plane ride out there, we stayed on the same aircraft for 2 of the flights...where we got to observe something quite telling go down.

In the row in front of us, there was a guy sitting next to the window and one in the aisle seat, with no one in between them for the first leg of the flight.  Not much going on for the two fellas, a little "ginger ale please", "I'll pass on the peanuts" and "please return your seats to their full and upright position" was the extent of their interaction to the world outside row 5.

Until...

She arrived.  When the plane stopped for a short layover in Tulsa, a cute blond got on and sat right in between our quiet guys in row 5.  Wes started feeling sick almost immediately (we later found out it was distinctly a rough G.I. bug, but still very timely). 

These guys went from silent types to winner and runner-up in the biggest and best "One-Upper" contest I have yet to witness.  You know what I'm talking about people...window guy mentions he is going skiing at a friend's place right on the slopes; aisle guy mentions he owns a place on the very same slope.  Window guy has his own business; aisle guy buys and sells businesses.  It went on and on and on, I kid you not, for the entire 1 hour and 40 minute flight.  Honestly.

The whole scene brought lots of eye rolling to Wes and I, as his stomach got sicker and sicker.  But seriously, on a another level the "look at me show" brought a real insight into the heart of a man.  It was clear: they longed to be heroic to someone, to be the best to someone, to capture someone's awe...and they would fight for it if they had to.

Isn't that so true about our husbands ladies?  In a life full of the daily grind ho-hum, there is something in deep in the heart of our men that longs for us to notice. To notice the work they put in at work, yes the boss sees, but when is the last time we thanked our hubbys for providing for us, drawing out their concerns, or celebrating and aweing at their accomplishments...no matter how large or how small?

I love Proverbs 20:5, "The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out." 

May I paraphrase the verse this way:  "The purposes in our husbands' hearts are deep waters, a wife of keen study, care, understanding and with God's help, draws out his depth."

Wes mentioned to me recently a friend who said "I just don't think I am very deep," ...devastating, we both thought.  Of course our guys have depth, God created them so.  And God has given us a unique place to draw them out within marriage, and a unique desire on the part of our husbands to be drawn out by us.

One my biggest struggles I have HAD to overcome is learning to listen.  I can talk, advise, fix somebody all day (hey, I am a blogger...right?) but learning to listen is an art I am still trying to master. Check out Proverbs 18:2 "A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions."

So to paraphrase the opposite, "A lady of wisdom finds great pleasure in understanding a situation, and would share opinions with caution and discernment."

Lord help me.

Can I be honest?  Most days when Wes comes home I want to hand over charge of Alice and dinner and do a flying leap into the bathtub, all while verbally dumping on him all that went wrong in my day. 

Then I hear Prov. 18:2 in my spirit, I get a gentle reminder that Wes has had a lot go on for him that day too... and God has given him me (yes, he is stuck) to be the person to draw him out and notice.  I certainly don't want him floundering on a plane, or in his heart becoming shut down....because I haven't taken the time to notice him.

This is part of laying down our lives, ladies.  Sure, we have a TON going too, but that's another post, and this one is getting us in better shape for our guys.

Interestingly enough, our two guys on the plane were both married.  They both talked about their wives and families.  It wasn't that they were looking for love, for cheating necessarily....but they were looking, aching, begging for someone to notice.

Lip Service to our Lord

Ugh, isn't it easy to say we are Christians on Sunday morning, when the birds are chirping and sky is blue?  When when the cash money is flowing in excess (ha) and children are magically calling you "Mummy" (suddenly in a charming British accent btw) and honoring you in front of the grocery clerk?

Also, what is this Mom "high" that I get all about?  Sick, it is such pride people!  Lord, Help me!  I can get such a rush from a TOTAL stranger complimenting my child...like it's not just a 50/50 chance they didn't catch us in, what I like to call a "learning moment".  Are you like me?

I am sitting here in Luke 6:46, and Jesus asks a question that brings the heat this morning..."Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?"  Which brings me to the all famous and widely quoted James 2:26b, "faith without deeds is dead."  Oh I pray we see this with new eyes today friends.

It occurs to me this morning, that all the time spent in communion with God, church going, bible study, community groups we can actually be...dead?  If we claim to call Jesus our "Lord" and don't do what He says, our faith is well...dead, dear ones.

There is true DEATH in worry, financial mis-trust of God, sin, criticism of the body of Christ...etc!  These are REAL things that plague our lives, our families, our marriages and the church!  If we call Him "Lord" we must live what Kay Aurthur calls the "rest of faith": living out of every, single Word, big and small, that comes out of the mouth of God!  That means to walk in FULL belief that he will "supply all of your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus" Phil 4:19, and not allow emotions and ungodly choices to rule us when supply is low and demand is high.

Or what about what Jesus says in John 12:27, "Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid!" We get that awesome freedom, friends!  We do not have to live in fear if we know Him!  He is in control, now walk in your freedom! (whew, I needed to hear that)

How many of us live in lip service to our Lord?  Check out this definition of lip service," Verbal expression of agreement or allegiance, unsupported by real conviction or action."  (answers.com) We say we He is our Lord, yet many of live in fear, regret, jealousy and bitterness.  No wonder the church is loosing impact.  We have the King beckoning us, yet we go own way... and wonder where the change is.

We must do the "deed" of believing Him at every Word, otherwise we will surely seem as dead as those who really are.

It's the Sick who need a Doctor!

It has been one serious cold and flu season at the Thorpe house.  Alice has been fighting various forms of runny noses, fevers...and last night got her very first stomach bug.  Oh my y'all it is the most pitiful thing I have ever witnessed.  Those big eyes looking at me like "What on earth is that Momma! Help, What's happening to me!"   Bless her heart.

Side note: as I write, there is this bird that keeps flying into the window, people. Have you ever seen that before?!  Poor guy slash gross slash funny.  Anyhow...

As I was holding her and rocking her (oops, not so good on the tummy, I quickly discovered as I cleaned up another mess...no more rocking) I was asking my loving God to heal her precious tummy ache and restore her to health.  I heard Matthew 9:12 in my spirit, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick."  And so to Matthew 9 I went this morning.

Now, many responses may strike you (as the did me).  Isn't that obvious, Jesus?  What are you getting at?  He goes on, "But go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, not sacrifice.  For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Do you realize that if you are spiritually sick, you are specifically called?  I mean, He uses the word "call" as in, you, me...my name, your name. 

Jesus did not come to save and redeem the well, dear friends, He came for people like me and you!  It is when you are the SICKEST that He reaches out to heal and "doctor" you; to rock you and soothe you; to call you into His kingdom because of His perfect love.

Are you stuck in a spiritual "sickness"?  Is depression, jealousy, worry for the future, bitterness, sin...etc making you ill?  It can and oh, it will.  Call the Doctor, the Great One.  Press in to the redeeming, trustworthy person of Jesus Christ.  He walked this walk: fully God and fully man.  He cannot only empathize with you in His humanity, but can heal you and change you because of His deity.

Dear friends, if you are worried, choose to trust Him, He is Worthy and He is Able.  If you are jealous, ask for a revelation of what He has given YOU and in all things...be thankful. Call to Him, for He hears you.  Live in expectancy, looking for Him to show up in your sickness.  He is really good at it...believe me, I know this all too well!