Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Marriage, Part 3!

I had every intention of not writing another post on marriage, then while getting ready this afternoon (yes, I "get ready" mid-day, so if you see me before 3ish do not alarmed if I'm sporting some rockin unbrushed hair atop my head, little to no makeup and my mommy "high heels" ah-hum, sketchers shape ups...yes I have had them for a year, they look fairly ridiculous, and no, I still don't know if they work.) God really spoke to me.

I am reading Lysa Terkeurst's book, Made to Crave...excellent.  The tag line on the front says "Satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food".  Truly, there is more truth in this funny, insightful book than I could summarize for you- so read it if you are able. 

Anyhow, she is bringing up the "it's not fair!" thing that we all struggle with at one time or another.  She expresses a good one you may be familiar with...Why can my size 2 friend eat a cake in it's entirety and I can't, God?!  Then cites a brilliant answer from a friend of hers, E. Titus, who says, (And don't miss this dear friend!!)

"I remind myself that God didn't make me to be her.  You see, He knew even before I was born that I could easily allow food to be an idol in my life, that I would go to food, instead of Him, to fill my needs.  And in His great wisdom, He created my body so that it would experience the consequences of such a choice, so that I would be continually drawn back into His arms."


Ok, then.  This is a marriage post.  So there I was getting ready for the day at 3ish, disgruntled about something going on between me and my husband.  It is this point of tension in our marriage- and it has been there since the "beginning".  You know what I mean sister...you have that area with yours too. The area that no matter how many times you address it, pray through it, bring encouragement in all the worst and wrong...and even Godly and "right" ways...maybe not much has changed between the two of you in said area.

Oh my, have I asked God to change me, to remove the longing that sometimes aches for Wes to be and do the things that I am wishing for...after all- God you created me this way...right? 

Lemme just say, I am convinced I married the best man I have ever met.  I could go on and on, but I will spare you the gush of how awesome I think my man is.  But, let's face it, we are all human, I fail him.  He fails me too.  (Sounds so easy in those terms, doesn't it?!)
So back to the quote in Lysa's book.  Whoa, did God ever use that today to speak to me about my husband. Allow me to take the quote above and insert my hubby-issue (we will call it "issue X" to protect and honor my main man) in exchange for food:

"I remind myself that God made me to go with Wes.  You see, He knew even before I was born that I could easily allow "issue X" to be an idol in my life, that I would go to Wes, instead of Him, to fill my needs.  And in His great wisdom, He gave me my husband so that I would experience a few withdrawals of "issue X", so that I would be continually drawn back into His arms."

Are you like me?  What is the X-factor in your marriage (money? romance? leadership?) that God in His divine providence, allowed to be placed (or lacking) in your mate, to draw you closer to HIM?    I can almost assure you that there is something you long for in your mate- that is unperfected, as there is in all of us

Has it ever occurred to you that God has a purpose in the lack?  And, that His purpose in it may have more to do with propelling me and you in to a deeper relationship with Christ, rather than changing our spouses?  Let me be sure to communicate: The goal is not to lose the longing in our hearts, but to cast down the idol.

You see, this is not about Wes.  This is about Catherine and Jesus.  I know this may seem a familiar tune-but be encouraged as we hear it anew today...this is not so much a "change me, not him Lord!" message (which is good, noble and true and needs expressed) but an invitation to take a look at the idols in our hearts that we beg our mates to feed when our God is the only true Bread.

Could it be, friends, that God is continually concerned with our ever-fickle hearts and positioning things in our world to cause us to line up with Psalm 73:25, "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you."... instead of trying to "fix" all we see as "broken" around us...

Let me know your thoughts and what God may show you!!


  1. oh wow. Thank you. Don't stop writing. Perfect timing on this one for me. I wrestle with fear...especially at night. Barry is prbly going to have to start working nights 3 or 4 times a week. Help Lord! This is about Charlotte & Jesus. Sometimes i dwell on my fears at night so much that it is almost like an idol because it rules my thoughts & those thoughts control me. not good. Barry has been like a security blanket for me & I really need major victory with Jesus in this area.
    Thanks for sharing this...
    "The goal is not to lose the longing in our hearts, but to cast down the idol."

  2. Catherine, I have never read ur posts before. I'm embarrassed to tell u I get the emails about them, but I have never come here to read one yet....until tonight. I'm not sure what made me do it...it was a robotic reaction, like God controlled my hands to click on ur link and start reading. First, holy smokes, u are an amazing writer....u have talent with your thoughts and with words. Secondly, this did so much for me with what I am facing. Thank u for the time u put into this. It really touched my heart. I will continue to read ur posts as I get the email updates for ur page.
    I love and miss you so much... think about u all the time.
    -mary v

  3. Awesome post. So true. Congrats on the baby boy, Catherine! So excited for ya'll!